but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize