i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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