I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
