the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize