So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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