Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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