i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
