Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
