better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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