it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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