Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
