Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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