She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
