I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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