Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
