Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
