We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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