In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I hate all girls vehemently.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
