ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
