Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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