my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
