Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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