I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
