Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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