I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
