ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize