I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
