Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
