my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
