After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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