Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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