ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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