Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
