Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
