Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize