you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize