The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
