Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
