I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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