I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
