It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
