Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
