and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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