it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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