There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
