Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
