he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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