If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
