Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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