there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she pinky promised me she was 18
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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