shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
