I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
