I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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