im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i out mim tonsoeep
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
