Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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