is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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