sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
