weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
