there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
