If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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