So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
