how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
