I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
