There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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