Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why did my mother make you get naked?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
