we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize