Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
