Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
