party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
