i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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