ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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