MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
