It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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