oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
