butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
