Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
