last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
