If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i believe in u and ur pee
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
